First, a little history. Almost a year ago, the husband and I decided to move out of our very spacious two bedroom two bathroom apartment, and downsize to something a little smaller and a little less expensive. You see, the real estate market out here has exploded, and with the rising cost of properties in the area, our landlords felt perfectly justified in jacking up our rent almost $320.00 in less than two years. We found a place and put in our notice. Three days before we were sopposed to move in, the bottom fell right out. The manager of the new place spoke to me and said that there had very recently been a change in ownership of the complex. They fired all of the old staff, and selectively re-hired two weeks later. What did all of this mean? Lemme tell ya. It meant that my new apartment wasn't going to be ready for another two weeks and the price would have to be re-negotiated. Holy-Shit!!!!!!! I had given notice 27 days prior. I was going to be homeless! I spent the next 24 hours freaking out and looking for something we could move into right away. The only option I ended up finding meant moving into the in-laws house temporarily. Okay, no sweat. Big deal right? Ha Ha Ha. Then the husband lays the whopper on me. He wants to go back to school. We had talked about the idea several times in the past, but it always boiled down to the same conclusion. It would just be too expensive. Between cutting his hours at work, and tuition, we couldn't afford it. Now he had the perfect oppertunity. His folks offered to let us stay, rent free, for as long as he needed to complete school. I hated the idea, but I thaught it would be selfish of me to say no. I agreed. Troy started the ball rolling by making an appointment with a counselor at the University he had previously attended. To make a long story short, he screwed around the last couple of semesters that he was there, and they were going to make it very difficult for him to re-enroll. Troy is very sensitive, and this got him all worked up and disapointed. He quit looking into finishing but all the time saying that it was what he wanted. Recently he has started taking a more serious approach. He has ordered lots of info and applications from a number of different schools. He is ready to pick one and get started. Meanwhile, I have spent the last 11 months completely miserable. His parents have been great. They have been so tolerant of our invasion of their space, and I am not an easy person to live with trust me. I just feel like I have a place to stay, not a place to live. I am used to having my own space, my own stuff, my own furnature, my own pictures on the walls, my own KITCHEN, and my own bed. I miss eating off of my dishes. I miss having dinner guests. I miss walking around in my underwear. I miss being able to have a disagreement with my husband without having an audience. I miss being able to leave a dish in the sink if I'm too tired to wash it and put it away. I miss my chipped coffee mugs that have bad words on them. I miss having my mom come and visit me from out of town. I miss my independance, and I miss my pride. I want to move out. I want us to get an apartment. Troy does not. He thinks I am being selfish. He wants to stay for another two years and finish school. He thinks that an apartment is a waste of money right now. He thinks that we should not move back out until he is done with classes and we are ready to buy a house. I see his piont, but in the almost year that we've already been there, we have accomplished nothing. I know that he is serious about school this time, but I had lived on my own for so long. This whole mess is very hard for me. I cry everyday: out of misery, out of shame, out of guilt that I am so selfish. I don't know weather or not to push the issue. Should I risk our future for my sanity? I need some feedback.
